There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
