This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
