oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
