Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
