its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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