maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
