I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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