is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
