hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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