where am i from again
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
