Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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