Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
