Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
