She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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