could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
