If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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