so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
