Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
