ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
