Can Purell be used as lube?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
