Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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