im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
