You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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