OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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