is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
