can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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