hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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