I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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