I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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