Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
