You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
