Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
