Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
