drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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