Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
