At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
