pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
