they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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