She's JV to your varsity
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
