He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
