I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
