I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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