chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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