Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
