remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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