Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
