how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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