how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
