I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
