you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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