with your own penis?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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