Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
